Red carpet for Juan Carlos I

Red carpet for Juan Carlos I

Cartoon of 06/03/2022 in CTXT

It was a foregone conclusion that the State Attorney General's Office, coincidentally in the midst of the media din of the bombs to cushion the little impact it sensed, deployed the long-awaited red carpet for Juanca.

The tax delinquent and countryman, now, with his tax frauds prescribed and inviolable for other more than proven embezzlements, says that he is considering taking occasional trips to what was, and still is by the grace of DNA, his farmhouse called Spain.

In April 1993, Juanca inherited some 2.2 million euros that his father, the Count of Barcelona, had in deposits in Switzerland, as is the Borbonic tradition.

In 2013 it could be read that he had already polished it all off and from Zarzuela they said that he had spent every last cent on paying "debts and obligations" and that he no longer had any foreign accounts. They lied, of course. And nothing happened.

Zarzuela also said at the time that they had the "conviction" that they had paid the corresponding taxes, but that they had not found any document to prove it. Equal parts horny and cynical.

Nothing happened, because nothing ever happens. The rest of the story you already know, a continuous pecking order for decades of supposed commissions for works, arms and oil deals, and chumming around with sultans, kings and businessmen to take from here and there and accumulate wealth, travel, whims and various luxuries.

In 2008, the King of Saudi Arabia, Abdullah bin Abdulaziz, donated 100 million dollars, or 65 million euros. No one ever knew why or what for. Juanca, who was neither short nor lazy, deposited this money in the Mirabaud bank in Switzerland in the name of the Lucum foundation, registered in Panama. The Swiss managers Arturo Fasana and Dante Canonica were in charge of hiding the money from prying eyes.

Two years later, he took another small nibble, no less than 1.8 million dollars, which was "given" to him by the Sultan of Bahrain, Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa. Specifically, it was 1,895,250 dollars, according to the recipient, Arturo Gianfranco Fasana, who also paid it into the Lucum Foundation's account.

All this shit, and a lot of others, Juanca describes them in a letter to his son as "past events in my private life". The joke tells itself. Here is the text in case you need to laugh again with this folksy interpretation of the real art of stealing.

Red carpet for Juan Carlos I 1


  1. His Majesty King Juan Carlos has addressed the following letter to His Majesty the King:

Your Majesty, dear son:
In August 2020, guided by the conviction of rendering the best service to Spain and all Spaniards, to its institutions and to you as King, I informed you of my decision to move out of Spain, to facilitate the exercise of your functions. Since then, I have resided in Abu Dhabi, a place to which I have adapted my way of life and to which I am extremely grateful for its magnificent hospitality.

Having become aware of the decrees of the Attorney General’s Office, by which the investigations of which I have been the subject have been closed, it seems appropriate to me to consider my return to Spain, although not immediately. I prefer, at this time, for reasons that belong to my private sphere and that only affect me, to continue to reside permanently and stably in Abu Dhabi, where I have found peace of mind, especially for this period of my life. Although, naturally, I will return frequently to Spain, which is always close to my heart, to visit family and friends.

I would like to end this stage of my life with the serenity and perspective offered by the time that has passed. As you well know, in 2019 I informed you of my desire to retire from public life, and I will continue to do so. In this sense, both during my visits and if I return to live in Spain in the future, I intend to organise my personal life and my place of residence in private areas in order to continue to enjoy the greatest possible privacy.

I am aware of the importance for public opinion of past events in my private life, which I sincerely regret, and I also feel a legitimate pride in my contribution to democratic coexistence and freedoms in Spain, the fruit of the collective effort and sacrifice of all Spaniards.

If it is agreeable to you, it is my wish that you make this letter public, for the knowledge of all Spaniards, at the date you deem appropriate.

With my loyalty, affection and immense pride in you.

Your father”.

His Majesty the King respects and understands the will of His Majesty King Juan Carlos as expressed in his letter.

La Zarzuela Palace, 7 March 2022

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