Scary offer. Cartoon of 29/03/2025 in CTXT
Text of the cartoon: "Scary offer. Buy your survival backpack now and pay for it in 72 hours interest free".
"All citizens must prepare a 72-hour emergency package in case of crisis". If you read this headline, and many were written in this tone and others even more alarmist, it is normal to think that this imperative is not a suggestion or a recommendation.
But it is what it is, a recommendation of the European Commission, which they have called the"EU Preparedness Strategy for Preventing and Responding to Emerging Threats and Crises".
According to the Commission and the High Representative "their presentation comes at a time when the European Union is facing increasingly complex crises and challenges that cannot be ignored. From rising geopolitical tensions and conflicts, hybrid and cyber-security threats, information manipulation and interference by foreign actors, to climate change and increasing natural disasters".
And, of course, as capitalism's best practices dictate, everything can be turned into money. Thus, many media outlets have been quick to make lists of survival items.
In El País, under a headline that tries to look informative,"We tell you where and how to put together your survival kit as advised by the EU", they draw up a list of articles with their corresponding Amazon affiliate link to make money. Something that almost all digital media tend to do when faced with any move that could be "monetised" (a horrible word wherever there is one).
And like an excerpt from a dystopian comedy series, Belgium's European Commissioner for Equality, Preparedness and Crisis Management, Hadja Lahbib, starred in a laugh-out-loud video for Tonter, now X.
The cheerful and smiling policewoman leaves us with a sympathetic message because, depending on the threat you face, you probably won't even last the two days you packed your backpack for.
Today, the EU launches its new #Preparedness Strategy.
- Hadja Lahbib (@hadjalahbib) March 26, 2025
"Ready for anything" - this must be our new European way of life. Our motto and #hashtag. pic.twitter.com/fA1z8ZvMDA
The TV channels were no slouches when it came to alarm. On Cuatro, in that programme by Nacho Abad, a yellow journalist by profession, they devoted a lot of minutes to possible catastrophic scenarios and interviewed a "Prepper", those who the media don't usually pay any attention to, with a nice background shot of a bunker. The rest you know. The questions were along the lines of: Are we all going to die? Will those who buy the best cutter be saved? The usual. Few things spread better and faster than potential mortal threats.
And you will forgive me. It is one thing to have some foresight, but it is not a question of whether or not ordinary mortals should have a couple of candles at home in case the electricity goes out or three or four tins of tinned food or other non-perishable food in case one day you have to eat for more than two days and you can't buy it.
For various disasters, accidents, etc., there are drills and there are drills for almost anything you can imagine. But this is different. The emergency kit is to survive for a little while a range of possible catastrophes so large and lethal that it is inevitable not to arch an eyebrow thinking that they really believe that these four gadgets will be useful for everything.
We live in warlike war times. Now, in the midst of the "debate" on the rearmament of Europe for which billions are to be burned on fat cucumbers and shotguns, we are told to have at hand the miracle bag that will stop a missile and allow us to walk through fire. Wasn't rearmament supposed to be about ensuring peace and security?
I'd be more relaxed if they handed out a bread loaf, a first-aid kit and a couple of rifles to every house, what can I say.
