De-occupy companies

Empresas de desocupación

De-occupy companies. Cartoon of 06/08/2023 in CTXT

Translation of the cartoon: "Your profile doesn't fit the job of mediator"

Imagine that one of those squatters that Antena 3 says invade a hundred houses every day, have colonised your house and you need someone to throw them out. Who do you call? The police?

No. Yours is to call some investigators/mediators from one of those companies that are going to charge you at least three thousand eurazos.

and what should these people be like? Well, they should be guys so square that they look like they've gone overboard with Synthol and look like approved thugs. They should look a bit like Nazis, but without going over the top. More like very Spanish Spaniards.

Much better if they are dressed in a Bomber jacket and have lots of tattoos. If they are also boxers or practise any other bone-crunching combat activity, even better. This guarantees success in dealing with any property market issue.

Mediating requires no more knowledge or training than fat muscles in every part of the body except the jar.

If you think I'm exaggerating, just take a look at the pages of the vacancy companies. There you have most of these businesses showing muscle as their main attraction, others pose on a table to make it look like they are gathered in thought. Almost all their websites seem to be cut from the same cloth.

That "mediator" is another postmodern euphemism for the list. A hypocritical as well as ridiculous way of trying to soften the bullying.

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